Deep Pain Needs Deep Forgiveness

What do you do when you hurt someone. The offense was all mine and even though completely unintentional, it has caused a deep chasm between two people who have been friends for almost 3 decades. She's hurting and I don't blame her. I'm hurting too. I could try and defend my actions and justify the reason behind them, but at the end of the day, no matter what the circumstances, if someone has perceived pain and injustice, you really can't do anything except acknowledge it. People feel things differently. They see and experience life differently. You cannot judge a person's reaction to any situation especially if it's not the same as your own. 

I'm broken and hurt today knowing that someone else hurts because of my mistake. I have been through circumstances this past year that would crush the most valiant of warriors. I have had to navigate the unthinkable and I have been under such immense stress and hardship that it is only the grace of God that has me alive and standing today. Even though the other person is unaware of the events that led to our decision, they were wounded in the crossfire. Presumption can be a deadly weapon.

For reasons hidden from me at this time, God has allowed all of this to unfold at exactly this time in history. He loves us too much to leave us in a place of pride and complacency and often orchestrates situations to allow us to be stripped of our vain imaginings and puffed-upped self-importance. This morning I found myself clinging to Scripture and leaning once again on its timeless truth.

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.                                                                          3 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.                                                7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.                                                                            10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.                                                                        

There was once a great King who was also a man. He erred horribly at the expense of another and his sin was devastating. Yet from his broken spirit and contrite heart, God eventually brought forth the Redeemer King who came to forgive the sins of the world. My sins. In the middle of impossible pain, God can bring healing, hope and forgiveness. There is not one person who has never caused an offense. Not a single one who can claim perfection except the One who died for each of us. His blood cleansed us and redeemed us forever. 

When someone is hurting, be patient. When they are angry and feel betrayed, be patient. There is always something bigger going on under the surface. You can't fix it. Only God and His amazing grace can bridge the gap and heal the pain. God wants you to stop beating yourself up. You have apologized, asked for forgiveness and sobbed your heart out. Now let God do what He does best. He specializes in the impossible and He's really good at it.

Generosity and forgiveness are gifts that must be given freely and without feelings of obligation on the part of the recipient. To offer with strings attached serves only to destroy their power and the enormous potential for good, causing them to evaporate before our eyes. If God prompts you to be generous, don't later throw it up in the recipient's face reminding them of your good deed. It then becomes as dust. So too with forgiveness. Give it freely and often. You never know when you may need it yourself.